How to Navigate Frustrating Interactions in a Healthier Way
I strongly dislike arguing. I’m a lover, not a fighter! If I could only have peaceful yet productive, co-collaborative conversations, I would! But sometimes, people want to argue with you. Their fire can get you fired up, and well… sometimes we find ourselves reacting in ways we’d rather not. These frustrating interactions can leave us feeling exhausted and disappointed.
When I began my Akashic Records session, I had no idea what I would ask. This question just came out of me: “How can I be more patient and kind when I feel frustration bubbling up inside me?” Below is the response I channeled.
The Akashic Records addressed:
- The importance of feeling our emotions
- What happens energetically when we’re in a heated argument
- How and why to apply the filters of patience, understanding, and compassion
- How to understand and navigate the dynamics of a fiery, frustrating conversation
- How to transcend the karmic pattern of violence
I hope you get as much out of this message as I did!
It’s about the energy exchange. You feel what is happening, yet, you feel it is volatile and outside of your control and this scares you. So you get defensive and you project and you raise your voice and you sigh and you constrict and that energy is stuck in your body. When you project, what you are doing is attempting to push it out and to express it, but what happens is it gets thrown at another person. And then they turn around and throw it back at you. This interaction leaves you feeling exasperated and even more frustrated with no resolution to the underlying cause. So what you can do in those situations is to breathe before you speak. Calmly breathe before exploding, before raising your voice, yelling, projecting, fighting. It doesn’t have to be a fight. You do not have to fight fire with fire. As water, you know this, but you are also fire, and all elements. You’re frustrated because the same arguments, the same scenarios keep replaying and you can’t seem to talk your way out of them.
Allow yourself to take a few breaths before speaking the first thing that comes to your mind in an irritated tone of voice. Try to put that reaction through a filter called patience, understanding, and compassion.
Through that filter, it lessens the attack of your words. It makes the damage much less. It’s not so personal at that point.
Through the filter of patience, you change which part of your brain you use to respond. When you respond from the primal centers of your brain, you are in a mode of defense and of fight-or-flight. You do not want to be in fight-or-flight in normal daily conversations. It is not necessary. It does not require those parts of your brain.
Through the filter of understanding, you may see the other’s perspective without judging it and without condemning them for what they think and feel and are doing in that moment.
Through the filter of compassion, you remember that you are a being of light and you are interacting with another being of light, and that you have a choice in how this interaction goes.
You can choose to [metaphorically] wrap a blanket around someone instead of lighting something on fire. You can choose to water down that fire instead of feeding the flame. You can choose to navigate the interaction differently than you have in the past.
It frustrates you when people do not feel the things that you would want them to feel. When they look at you, and when they speak in a certain way that conveys deep resentment, that is what upsets you most. Because you want to change that. Because you don’t want tiny daggers under-laying the floor beneath your feet. You want to be able to walk without the fear of repercussion and without the fear of hurt. But ultimately, what you resist persists. You do care and you do love, but when you try to control too tightly, too strictly, when you force someone to change the way they are speaking or looking at you, you are not allowing THEM to feel what they are feeling. How does it feel when someone does that to you? When you are sad and you want to cry, you allow yourself to cry and you like that you do that for yourself. Learn to extend the compassion you give to yourself, to others.
Learn to put up protection around yourself where you are not being highly affected by another person’s thought or feeling. You do not have to take it on any longer. You know better now. You are learning still, but you do know that you do have some control in this manner. When you allow the other person to feel what they are feeling, if you can do that in a way where you are not taking on their feeling, you are not tuning in and trying to experience it with them, you take a step back, you allow them to feel what they are feeling, you hold space without taking it on. If they are burning you let them burn. You can put water on that fire when it is ready, but sometimes a fire needs to burn out on its own naturally, without interference, without trying to stop it. You know this very well, yet, you find yourself resisting it. You find yourself being frustrated by the nature of it, and that is human of you and that is okay. But you are asking because you want to do better.
So pause, take a breath, distance yourself energetically ever so slightly more than you would normally. Through the patience, understanding, and compassion, these fires will not burn you as they have been, but rather, when they burn, you will not be hurt by it. By understanding its nature and not resisting it, you will be able to change this unconscious pattern of reaction.
You realize the many forms of violence, whether physical, verbal, or subtle energetic violence, it is all violence. So what you can do is to understand how your reactions and your actions and behaviors are playing into the various karmic patterns. When you notice you’re playing into a certain pattern, you can begin to shift that locally at an individual level. First you must shift it in your interactions with yourself and then you may shift it in your interactions with others. It would do well for you to journal in this exploration. There are many varieties of this pattern, from the smallest manifestation to the most egregious one, it is all part of the same pattern. You are playing your part in transcending those patterns consciously throughout your life. Do not become complacent in this matter. It is deeply important for humanity to follow this path diligently.